jamais vu

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"There's an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It's when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger. Nothing is ever familiar."
Chuck Palahiuk

these have been the hardest few weeks in a long time

i miss you so much

i can’t believe i won’t get to see or talk to you regularly for 3 months

last night i kissed your wrist, i told you that everything would be okay. 3 of our anniversaries are going to go by and i won’t get to see you for any of them

i don’t know what to do with myself, it’s like my whole world has vanished

i can’t see or talk to the one person who means anything in my life for over a month

everything is starting to disintegrate again

my dad didn’t get the right type of cake and it smells like maple liqueur and i don’t wanna eat it because it brings up bad drunk memories oh dear lord maybe if i just completely drench it in icing it will taste ok

em kudos to another great saturday night

shitty that my bf couldn’t come out but i love my friends

my parents must feel bad that i don’t have a valentine

they bought me chocolate, a stuffed animal and an itunes card

thanks mom and dad

i had my first group therapy session today

it actually wasn’t bad i made a friend

and no one seems like a psychopath so that’s cool

i had a dream that i had a party and my friends left a huge ziploc bag of weed at my house and then they couldn’t remember where they left it the next day and i hid it in my room on my floor behind 3 cereal boxes and they didn’t find it.